What is the legacy you want to leave behind?

When my mother passed away we were in shock. We knew it was coming, but she had only been in hospice for about a day and a half. I thought I was prepared, and I was to a point. But, I was not prepared for the outpouring of love.

My mom was a girl from the suburbs of St. Louis. Her father and mother owned a jewelry store. They weren’t wealthy, just trying to make a life in the post WW 2 economy. She married my dad in 1962. He was in the Marines and they were in the San Diego area. My mother had 2 children but had 6 miscarriages. She wanted a houseful of kids. Later in life, she would be called Mom, MeeMaw, or Aunt Janet and only a handful of people would actually be blood related, the rest were adopted to her heart.

We had 2 funerals, one in Houston for friends and the few relatives in Texas, the other in St. Louis for her remaining aunts and uncles and myriad of cousins. The viewing for the Houston service was unreal. I was standing next to my mother’s casket and people were lining up to pay their respects … and the line did not stop. Someone told me that the line was out of the chapel, down the hall, through the front door and down the sidewalk. I had no idea my mother even knew that many people, but she did.

People that I did not know and had never met came to us, shook our hand or hugged us, telling us how they will miss her, what an impact she had on their life. My mother wore many hats in her life, Pastors wife, Children’s Minister, Evangelist, Public Speaker, Author, Key Note Speaker, Sunday School Teacher, Librarian, School Teacher, Mother, Aunt, Daughter, Sister, Niece, Cousin, Friend. Some of the people who introduced themselves had familiar names, like the 2 state representatives and 1 state senator, a couple of millionaires, a fashion designer, members of the Houston Symphony, and 2 prominent ministers in the Houston/East Texas area.

I was in awe of my mother. Every single one of these people were genuine in their condolences and their own personal grief. My mother, Janet, had personally touched the life of every person. Some got her phone number from a friend in common, they called my mother for advice, and the call would end in a prayer. Some were at their wits end with children, called mom for her “mom advice” and then applied it.

I remember people talking after my grandfather passed (my mom’s father) the processional to the cemetery was so long they needed additional police for the escort. Someone said they counted over 100 cars. Since we didn’t have a graveside service in Houston, this viewing line was the equivalent. In St Louis, we had the viewing and service at the church my aunt and uncle attended. It comfortably sat 300 people and our family and friends in the area easily filled that.

It’s been 18 years now that she has left us, her mother left us six weeks later and earlier this year we lost her brother. My grandmother and uncle had similar attendance for their services. What did these people do in life to have such an outpouring of love? Nothing special other than treating everyone with love and respect, sharing part of themselves, sharing Gods love by being a helper, a friend, sharing a meal with them, being there when babies are born and holding your hand when a loved one’s life is ended.

This is the legacy I want to leave. Not of silver or gold or real estate, but of a life lived to serve others and God. I have no riches to leave my children and my grandchild, but what I would want them to remember is this: Mom took time with us, read to us, took us to church, taught us to be a friend not only to others but to yourself, and showed us that her love was unconditional. My grandbaby…. I want her to remember that it’s ok to be silly, to dance in the kitchen, to be a true friend, that when we love others, we are showing Gods love. And that it is perfectly acceptable to have ice cream in bed while watching a funny movie and singing while baking cookies is encouraged.

That is what I want to leave my babies and others, not that I made good cookies or was the biggest klutz, that I played music too loud, that I would embarrass them on purpose in the store, or that I drove my car too fast. I want them to remember love.