My mother had 2 siblings, a little sister and little brother. She was 5 years older than her sister and 6 years older than her brother. So basically, they were 16 and 15 when I was born.

My aunt was single until age 30, her only child was born 3 weeks before I turned 15, so honestly, I had this extra mom who was fun mom and had less responsibilities than my own.

We went McDonalds a lot, she took my sister and I all over St. Louis to all the fun things there is to explore.

When my sister was 5, she was hospitalized for a tumor in her lung. They literally cut her in half (it was 1973 and it might as well have been the Middle Ages). The upper third of her left lung was removed. The docs were scared because when they rolled her during the surgery, the tumor started “leaking” and it was pouring into the right lung (please bear with me, I was 7 when this happened and my memory is based on a child’s viewpoint and the multiple retellings the story by my mother). Right here I want to preface this by reminding the gentle readers that people my age are OG GenX, we were invisible children. In 1973 children under the age of 14 were not allowed in hospital rooms. The fact that my 7 years old butt was in the family waiting area outside my sister’s room in the ICU at Cardinal Glennon Hospital in St Louis, MO tells you what they thought the prognosis was. People talked in front of me about things I did not need to hear. It was all very heavy for a little girl to carry. My grandmother and my aunt took me home, we got Steak and Shake and there was ice cream, and my aunt played “war” and “go fish” with me because I didn’t want to fall asleep. I heard the doctors tell my mother and father that she wasn’t going to make it thru the night so I believed I needed to stay awake.

There are many stories like this. Silently providing support. My aunt even came to visit my daughter in the L & D suite when my daughter was in labor with my granddaughter.

In the past 5 years or so, we noticed some forgetfulness here and there. It gradually got worse, and this year it all took a turn. In January, her younger brother, who had been battling cancer, lost his battle. The stress and grief took her actions and memory to a new level. By new level, I mean, I currently have 4 different voicemails from her letting me know my Uncle had died.

Since January, she started occasionally calling me by my mother’s name on the phone, but if I give a sassy answer, I get called by both my own first and middle name! A few weeks ago, she sold her house so that she could move with her daughter and son to a larger house and they can keep an eye on her.

Last week, she came to stay with me for a few days while all of the red tape is completed.

She is confused sometimes during the day, as the sunsets, she gets a little more confused. I think it’s partially the altitude and being in unfamiliar surroundings. Because of the confusion, she asks the same questions over and over. Every day, it’s some of the same questions, what time do I get off work, why are the dog’s dishes empty, did I feed the dog, etc. A new thing is remembering something with me that never happened. Apparently she came to visit me 5 years ago out here in Colorado and we had a great time. I moved here just 2 years ago. She is quite insistent about that one and she is sad that her visit “made such a memorable impact”! This part is always followed by a big laugh.

I keep telling myself that this isn’t my aunt but she’s still in there. The person who played The Beatles and The Byrds, Patsy Cline, and Elvis for me and taught me the Twist and the Pony when I was 4 or 5. She taught me how to pick out lipstick and how to tease my hair. I cannot remember a time when she didn’t make it to a play, concert or cantata for my sister or I.

Something I am holding onto, along with her daughter, is that she can still quote a scripture in a heartbeat. She can pray out loud with fervor and love for your need. And she will hold your child’s attention while you get a moments rest. These are the things I know to be her and what I hold in my heart, when she remembers things differently, or that never happened. She is the aunt everyone needs.

This is a new adventure and my hands on, day to day time will end in a few days and I will be back to being a listening ear on the phone with her and safe space to vent for her daughter. My adventures will continue and the ones we have had together the past few days and the ones we will share before she leaves will live in my heart forever.

This video is so sweet and filled with hope.

Dementia Patient Remembers Jesus